Lovelies And Uglies!! (According to 808 State)
Number One
23rd February 1991
Page: 14

808 STATE are bounding their way up the charts with 'In Yer Face'. Why the interest in faces pondered Number One's Sara Lawrence? So she asked MARTIN, GRAHAM, DARREN and ANDY of 808 State to tell us who they thought were lovely looking people, and who were, erm, not so lovely.


DEMI MOORE (Actress who starred in Ghost.)

Darren: She's alright she is. And she's a dab hand at the old pottery (?!)!



MARVIN GAYE (Singer/ songwriter who had huge hits with such classics as 'I Heard It Through The
Grapevine'. He died in 1984, when his father shot him dead during a violent argument!)

Graham: I like Marvin Gaye.
Darren: Yes, he's good. He wrote some brilliant music. People can be beautiful in personalities as well as looks.


Darren: I tell you what really took me aback was them two Downs Syndrome ballet dancers on Going Live!. No lies, it was the best thing I've ever seen on television. They were doing Phantom Of The Opera. It was really beautiful. They were perfect and it was brilliant to see.

THE WALTONS (Everybody's favourite TV family.)

Graham: All the Waltons family! They're beautiful! They're just so perfect.
Martin: They're just the ideal American family, they're just what you want to be! But they've been showing them in the wrong order, because Grandad died one week and the following week he was back again!

ROD, JAYNE AND FREDDY (TV's Rainbow singers who loin Zippy, Bungle and George on that ol' favourite!)

Martin: Rod, Jane and Freddy are beautiful. Remember that song they sang, 'we've got a handful of songs to sing you'. That was brilliant!
Darren: They're top, they're really good. If you're a kid you'd just want to get up and do all the routines! (You would?! - Ed)


Darren: She's a gorgeous woman with a beautiful voice. her voice just takes me away! She's saying funkiness !(?)

VERA DUCKWORTH (Coronation Street)

Darren: She reminds me of my nan something chronic. All those heavy blonde streaks and the fact she can't be bothered cooking and all that. She's brilliant!



Darren: Mothers around the world. Every mother's beautiful to their own son!
Andy: Your mum's always right!


Martin: He's beautiful, and he's got the Colgate ring of confidence!


MC TUNES (Fellow collaborator with 808 State.)

Darren: There are loads of very unbeautiful people around. Tunes, now he's an very
unbeautiful person!



Martin: Now George Bush is a very unbeautiful person. He's just a fibber!



Darren: He's sad because he's white and he tries not to be. Martin: He's sad because he's told loads of lies about himself, and the nearest he got to a gang fight was when a girl slashed his botty with a comb or something like that! That's what really happened. Musically he's an abortion!
Darren: He's making it harder for people to appreciate white dance music, he's an idiot! Martin: And he's a bandit as well!

TERRY CHRISTIAN (Presenter of The Word.)

Darren: Top of the range tosser. He's the worst northener!
Martin: He's really got a posh voice and he puts on that Manc accent just for the telly. When he speaks normally it's like 'mom, I'm home!' and when he's on the telly, it's 'All right, our kid'.
Darren: He's commonly known as a tart.
Martin: He's the most untalented person on TV.
(So you don't like him then - Ed)

AMANDA DE CADENET (Fellow presenter of The Word.)

Darren: Put her in as well. She's a top tart.
Martin: She's got that job because she was a wild child. She'd just get slapped if she lived round our way!
Andy: How can you respect someone like that!
Graham: Did you see her when she was in Russia and she was saying things like 'they don't have any fashion'?

YVETTE FIELDING (Blue Peter presenter.)

Martin: That square presenter from Blue Peter, Yvette Fielding, who wears crochet jumpers. She looks like one of your mom's mates who you wouldn't bother with! It's just too wholesome! I hate telly like that!


Darren: He's not nice. He's basically a 'nana. We don't like him and we don't like his attitdue to everything! That 'Flash Back Jack', I could have screamed when I heard that. He's a mummy's boy with loads of dosh!
Martin: He's actually a nice guy, but I don't like him because he decided to give house music a career move of 12 months when it's a thing that you live your life for.